Hey Mommas.

Happy Mother’s Day.

I have never meant this more in my life.  To my mom that got up in the middle of the night to hold me when I was sick.  To her mother who did the same for her.  And so on.  I always knew I wanted a family.  I always wanted to live up to half the mother mine was.  I don’t know if I’m there yet.  The family I have now certainly looks different than the one I had once pictured.

This is what I do know-  Being a caregiver, a tear wiper, a food provider, a disciplinarian, a teacher, a maid, etc... Well, it’s not the easiest job in the world.  I have this overwhelming feeling that the position of motherhood almost chooses you.  No matter how carefully you plan and prepare for it, it happens.  It is not something anyone can ease in to.  It is all at once, whether you have one beautiful baby, or you happen to have a few more than the parenting books tell you is a good idea.  Some of us may have those nine months to prepare, but in reality it doesn’t happen till it happens and there is this person there.  This person that needs food, attention, doctor’s visits, clothes, and therapy (well hopefully not all kids).

Christ like.  That’s what you have to strive for.  Because without Christ the calling of caring for a child can defeat you.  And defeat you real good.  

On good days and bad days I am thankful for my mom.  I am thankful for the times she cried with me, for the times she put me in my place, for those bedtime stories, for those many nights she prayed with me the same prayers (I was a very un-original as a 7 year old), for all those band-aids, for the pep-talks, and for her faith when I had none.  She is a woman clothed in strength.  Something she learned from her mother and from God. 

I am learning.  Oh how I fumble and stumble even at the smallest things. But, I do remember.  I remember the way my Mom loves me, the way Christ loves me, and the way every child no matter where they are from or what statistics say should be loved.  I remember when I am tired, at the end of my patience, and when I am laughing with these gifts God has placed in front of me a bit sooner than I thought.

So shout out to all those mommies out there.  The way you love may even stretch farther that you could imagine one day.  I know my mother’s love has.

“Her hands reach out to the poor, and she extends her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20

they stole my plate

my charcoal stove is one of two things in Uganda that can make me curse, scream, and pray

you pile the charcoal in the stove

then you get some plastic  (pretty sure this one isn’t FDA approved) 

you struggle for twenty minutes to catch the plastic on fire

this is usually when the praying starts

then you build a charcoal mountain around the fire

then you repeat three more times when your fire goes out

the cursing and screaming set in 

when your fire has eventually caught, you get a plate and you begin to fan the fire. 

and i’m back to praying

you fan your little arms out

because if you worked that hard to start the tiniest flame

you aren’t going to give up on it

even when it’s an ember 

you fan and you fan and you fan

you pile charcoal around together

because it’s much easier to catch 5 pieces on fire compared to one by itself

and you fan and you fan and you fan 

when the charcoal have started to burn 

and set fire to the ones next to them

you fan and you fan and you fan

and then you put your pot on the stove

and cover it up to hold in the heat

and you fan and you fan and you fan

the first time i sit down to fan 

ten seconds later Fahad is sitting in my lap

he has stolen the plate 

he fans and he fans and he fans 

then sweet richard comes 

and gently takes the plate

and he fans and he fans 

Ivan strides in to save the day

flexes his muscles, and takes hold of the plate

and oh man he fans and he fans and he fans

pushing his way through the crowd of kids,

Bwanika steps up to show Ivan how it’s done,

and he fans and he fans and he fans.

Morris takes his turn, 

in his leopard print boots with his village scream,

and he fans and he fans and he fans. 

auntie katie calls that it’s time for bible study,

Fahad has brought auntie sydney outside

and says “auntie sydney will fan for you now” 

but now the fire is flaming and has spread

the pot is on the stove 

i send auntie sydney and 10 boys inside

uncle mark walks out as i started to fan again

“mallory, you amaze me!!

you make fire just like an african” 

boy, that got me laughing....

i sat outside and fanned for another hour 

i listened to my family worship

i’m pretty convinced that there’s not a more beautiful sound

as i sat outside missing bible study

i knew that i had just had mine.

serve. love. serve. love. serve. 

i’m not sure if our kids know how many books are in the bible

i’m not sure if they know the names of the disciples

i’m not sure if they know who rolled back the stone to find an empty tomb

they know they have been loved

and they like it

and they want to love too 

i see Jesus in them every day

i can’t wait for the day when they can read His Words 

but now I love seeing His Words be alive in their hearts