Hiding Place.

I have never been a fan of the game "hide and seek." 

1.  People usually play it in the dark, and I don't like people jumping out at me.

2.  I was overweight as a kid... so I couldn't run fast and was always caught.

3. I was never fond of looking for the "hiders" because (as I said before) I had trouble catching them once the chase ensued.

For too long I have made myself believe that God is hiding from me.  Like I am in this cosmic battle of "na-na-na-na-boo-boo-you-can't-catch-me."  So like a chubby girl jogging out- of- breath to the home base I have been seeking.  To be honest there were days where I just needed to know He was even REAL.  There were days that I couldn't remember if He loved me or not.  Then there were days when I doubted His call on my life to Africa.  And then I wondered if He would stick with me on this call to Africa. 

God isn't hiding from us.  He is running to us.  He is inviting me to stop in my tracks, stop running, stop worrying, stop doubting, stop trying to figure it out- and just be with Him.  The only thing that keeps us from fully being in God's presence is ourselves.  Maybe we don't see it until we fall on our face. Sometimes we don't see our ugly sin until it gives birth to death in our lives.  Praise God for that pain and drought that hits us between the eyes once we have grown weary of hiding.  Praise God for the utter dependence on His Spirit when we realize we can't breathe without Him.  Praise God that He designed us to only worship Him.

"When I kept silent, my bones became brittle from my groaning all day long.  For day and night Your hand was heavy on me; my strength was drained as in the summer's heat.  THEN I acknowledged my sin to You and did not conceal my iniquity.  I said 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,' and You took away the guilt of my sin.  Therefore let everyone who is faithful pray to You at a time that You may be found.  When great floodwaters come, they will not reach him.  You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with joyful shouts of deliverance." - Psalm 32:3-7

Doing life is hard.  Having 10 loud, crazy kids at home is hard.  Ministry can suck you dry.  Being a missionary has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in you.  We have to keep seeking God, not with expectation of Him hiding from us, but with the truth that He is always there.  He is beside us, behind us, and always in front of us.  When we remember the promises He has made, this whole seeking thing becomes a way of life. Everyday life, forever. 

When we believe and TRUST that He is there, our mindset changes. Our mind is renewed (Romans 12:2) and we can see and know His pleasing, good, and perfect will - which is to never leave us, never hide from us, and always always ALWAYS love us. I can't believe this on my own. I have to ask God everyday to help me believe. Every weak moment, every dry moment, every one of my worst moments where my fear and the devil's lies collide. I have to ask God to help me believe, and He is always faithful.  He is faithful in the falling of His Holy Spirit, in His soft whisper of peace, and in the living pages of His word.

He is our Hiding Place.