tali wo

There are two little boys in our school whose mother died a little over a year ago from HIV. Their dad is also positive and struggles with a drinking problem. From the day since I met them almost a year ago, they have been wearing the same clothes. This week, the Lord told me to bring them each a new outfit. I put them in a bag and took them to school where they were passed off to their teacher. She gave them to the little boys and told them “This is a surprise from somebody at school, don’t open it until you get home.” 

Two sharply dressed, shiny faced little boys showed up today so proud of what they had on. At break time, one of them got pushed down to the ground and his new shirt became very dirty. He wept. 

I went over and asked him what was wrong and he pointed to his shirt as he choked back sobs. I tried to comfort him and told him it would be ok. 

Then I asked him if he knew how to wash his clothes. 
He looked at me and his reply was “Mama, tali wo.”  

‘My mom’s not there.’

People have a lot of different views on helping. I’ve been challenged with this since I’ve lived in Uganda. 

What helps a starving child who lives on the streets? 

If I feed him, am I making life easier for him to continue living on the streets? Yes. 

Am I keeping him from connecting with an organization who can provide more long-term and sustainable help but he doesn’t want to change his ways to actually go to their programs and receive lunch? Possibly. 

But, he’s starving. So shouldn’t I feed him? 

Am I feeding him because I can? Or I because God told me to? 

Am I refusing to help them because I don’t want to encourage the view that white people can provide anything? 

Or am I helping them because I enjoy being a hero? 

Is my bandaid going to cover up this wound so well that they don’t think they need stitches? 

Or are they going to receive the bandaid and then walk to the hospital to continue treatment?

Time and time again I have set rules for myself, and then God continually calls me to break them. Eventually you get tired of sounding like a hypocrite and voicing your opinion on the subject. It’s made me to become an “I don’t know” when I see needs and challenges. It leads me to ask the Lord, “God you know what is best for this child, you only want what is good for me, do I feed him? Do I clothe her? Do I bring them into our home? Do I pay their school fees? Do I stop and pray for them?” 

He knows what is best for us. He is never wrong.

As a mzungu (white person), I am not the last straw. Sometimes it’s easy to look at it that way, if I don’t help this person then they won’t eat, or go to school, or whatever the person is needing won’t be met -- and that is extremely underestimating the power and provision of our God. 

If He says do it, it is for their good. 
If He says don’t do it, it is for their good, and surely He will provide in other ways.