drugs, if's, and gifts

There are two men that live in our house that never get enough appreciation, honor, or recognition. Their names are Mark and David and they are the two fearless uncles who continuously pour out into our boys. And if you asked me when Doors really started I wouldn’t tell you in January of 2012 or the time that God first broke our hearts for one of our boys; but it would be the day that we met these two men. 

We were working on the streets and Katie had set up a medical table, and someone brought in a little boy who looked about 6 or 7 at the time. He was shaking horribly, raging with fever, unresponsive, and was violently ill. We thought he had malaria. Nothing we did seemed to help, until one of the other street boys who is now one of our kids, came up to us and told us that this sick boy had been taking too many drugs. 

Opium, Marijuana, and huffing petrol. Katie and I were running around, searching for water, medicine, blankets; and we barely took the time to introduce ourselves to the two men who joined in our fight to save this little boy’s life. 

That was the first time we saw him when he overdosed. A crisis that led to four brothers and sisters becoming best friends. The four of us held this little boy, prayed over him, administered lots of love and water over the next few months as the same little boy overdosed two more times and found himself in our arms. 

Almost two years later, Mark found him on the streets yesterday. At this point this may not surprise you, but he was high, ill with fever, and having a huge wound on his foot where he was run over by a taxi and a boda boda. He brought him home.  He’s slept almost 16 hours at this point, and yes we keep checking to make sure that he’s still breathing. 

This kid’s a runner. He always has been. Every time he overdosed we would put him in a house with people to continue to care for him throughout the night, and the next morning he would be gone. I woke up this morning wondering what God was going to do. I know that God has a huge plan and purpose and love for this stubborn child, because it is truly only by His grace that he is still alive. 

I found myself asking God, “Is this it? Is this the time that the change is really going to happen? That he finally settles into a home and lets you wreck his addictions and heal his trauma and cover him in love?” 

I don’t feel like God told me a yes or a no. What He did tell me was that, this is not a nail biter. This is not a question of whether or not God was going to show up, because He already has. This was not a chance to sit around praying nervously waiting to see if it really happens this time. This is a gift. That’s what this time is. Having this little boy sleep in our home, eat our food, drink our water, and be loved by us is a gift that God is giving us. 

Last week I heard three children say, “IF I live to be a grown up...” and it was not a mistake in their English. Last week a friend of ours lost his daughter to a rare strand of malaria. She was eleven. Three days after that I held a little girl in my arms who was shaking uncontrollably from malaria and with her 102 fever wanted to sit in the sun to get warm. 

There are days when things just don’t make sense in my heart and in the way I see them. I’ve been continually asking God through every tough time and situation to show me the love He has for the child that is weeping in my arms because she can’t stop shaking, and for the little boy who has layers of addiction and scars that he needs to be rescued from. 

And I definitely don’t know all the answers. What I do know is this, that each one of those children is a gift to Him, and therefore they are a gift to me. They are not another mouth to feed when we already don't have sponsorships filled, and they are not a burden of responsibility that I have to care. They are gifts singing worship songs as they mop the house, laughing as they play football in the yard, serving the family at dinner time, and even when their stubborn sides come out. They are gifts, and that's all I need to see.