Job

Sometimes God will tell me to do something and it freaks me out.  I start to analyze why He is asking me to do something, or that he is preparing me for some catastrophe, so I will spend more time thinking about it then actually doing it.  He wants me to go through the book of Job.  Excuse me God?  Um... that is like the last book I'm really interested in.  Doesn't a lot of crappy stuff happen, his friends give him bad advice, and Job cries and screams and whines for about 37 chapters?  I have done a pretty decent job of avoiding that book, so why mess that up now?

Like most things God wants me to do, once I actually do it I am blessed beyond belief.  Of course, now that I am reading through it I have more questions, which is something I think God wants.  If we never ask Him things and go deeper how are we going to grow?

There is always hurt and pain around us, within us, and if it isn't happening to you now you can bet it will.  I have learned some things about why I have really avoided the book of Job.

1) I don't want to see God let bad things happen to good people.

2)  Job is really honest with God, and that would intrude on the act I know I sometimes put up that everything is OK all the time.  Honesty hurts sometimes.

Yesterday as we made Christmas cards with our homeless friends Edwin, Ivan, and Bwanika.  They told us about how the police were "cleaning" up the streets for Christmas.  This basically means they go around to collect the street kids and put them in prison to make the streets more presentable.  That's why when we got to church all three of the boys were sound asleep in the classroom.  As we patted their backs gently to wake them up, my first thought was- "I wish I was waking them up in their own bed, in a warm and safe house to tell them breakfast was ready."  I don't care that I am in a 3rd world country where that isn't normal.  I want my kids to have that one day.  Kids are still kids, they still require great love and care no matter where they are.  As the boys talked to us about the ruff night they had, we felt pain and confusion.  I thought back to when I was their age, I can't imagine going through the things they go through.

Painful stuff is happening to my friends.  Sometimes we get mad about it, sometimes we look up to the sky and wonder what to do next, sometimes we cry, sometimes we just sit with them, pray, and encourage them that God has BIG plans for them and everything will be set right (even when we aren't sure HOW or WHEN they will be set right).

As I looked at the boys yesterday I saw Job.  I saw a deep and honest pain.  But I also saw chapter 42 verse 10.

"After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before."

Job suffered a lot. And that's real stuff.  We live in a broken and fallen world.  We are going to suffer.  But it doesn't end there.  We can't focus on the chapters of pain.  God is getting to chapter 42 in their life.  I found a lot of hope in that yesterday.  Even as we talked about the pain happening NOW, I could see the LATER.  I think they could too.  Their chapter 42 is well on it's way.

I have learned that we have to be honest about our pain.  It is real and God is aware of that and he feels it too.  If you want to cry out, cry out.  If you want to ask questions, ask them.  But always have hope because your story doesn't end at chapter 37 because God will answer you and you will be restored.  Our friends will be restored.  We take hope in that every single day and so do they.

God is God.  God is good.  God has a plan for you whether you are starting out in chapter 1, you are in the middle of the book, or you have reached chapter 42.  He is there in all of it.  We are learning every day what real pain is, real honesty is, and real hope is.  The life of Job, the lives of Ivan, Edwin, and Bwanika are stories of hope.  Your life is a story of hope.  Even in the midst of the pain we can remember that.

"So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts its mouth."  Job 5:16

NewSpring church has a great sermon series about Job.  Check it out, I'm learning lots through it :)

http://www.newspring.cc/series/the-life-of-job/

Phillipo!

The sun is going down and Phillip is giggling as he swings back and forth in my hammock.  Some of the other kids are looking slightly jealous and definitely confused at the fun we are having.  But neither of us really notice or care because we are content and having fun.  I'm not suppose to have favorites, but sometimes I slip up and it happens.

We met on Sunday when we arrived here at Buyuobe to set up another week of camp.  He mostly stayed at a distance and didn't speak much.  We were quickly told that he was "crazy" and needed to be left alone.  Once camp started on Monday Philip was hanging around the drum circle watching intently.  I didn't like the way the other kids (and many adults) treated him as if he was wasted space, like he wasn't worth the time or effort.

I am in no way qualified to diagnose anyone, but I have spent some time around kids with special needs.  So, quite unofficially, I think Phillip may be autistic.  Doesn't matter anyway, if you ask me.  All that matters is that he smiles all the time, loves to ride bikes, and has proven his drumming skills this week.

It was difficult to keep myself from getting angry with the villagers, students, and teachers when they would say mean things and push him away.  I had to remind myself over and over that they didn't know.  They didn't know Phillip had trouble expressing his own emotions and feelings and that at times he may feel trapped within himself, unable to say what he wants.  They didn't know, so they just brushed him off as crazy.  I can't imagine what that must be like.

I have a big sister with Down Syndrome.  I have seen the expression of pain on her face when she has been pushed to the side or made fun of.  For all the times I wasn't around to stand up for Tiffany, at least we were here to stand up for Phillip now.  That is what Tiffany would want, and I owe that to my big sis.

So, the team did a little educating to the kids and we explained how Phillip isn't mulalu (crazy)...I think I misspelled that.  Mallory will correct me later.  Phillip is different, but it doesn't mean he is dumb or worthless.  He understands your words, but that his brain is wired in a way that leaves him unable to express everything like we can.  I couldn't help but let the tears run down my face when I thought about all those times Phillip had been made fun of along with everyone else who is simply misunderstood.

So while I can't tell you what Phillip's "condition" is, I can tell you what his heart is like.  He is one of the first Ugandan children to not shout "Mazungu! Mazungu!" at us because he doesn't see our color or difference from everyone else.  He just sees me.  He pumps water from the well for 2 hours for the smaller kids, he really likes music, smiles more than any teenage boy I know, and loves high fives.

Once the other kids saw that we treated Phillip as equal, they caught on.  Phillip was the first at camp every day, and the last to leave.  He was the last face I saw as we were driving away.  I learned so much from that boy this week.  I learned something new about what it means to truly be free, to serve others because it's fun, and to just take time to stop and listen from a busy day.  I'm so thankful for the way God loves Phillip and the way Phillip sees that.  Thanks Phillipo.

Pump Your Breaks.

I like to do fun things.  I like the sunshine, dirt roads, beautiful Ugandan babies, playing guitar, drumming, laughing, and so on.  So when I have these days where I feel off, when I am grumpy, when I am missing out on all these great things around me… something isn’t right within me.  You hear people in ministry talk about “burn out” sometimes..  I guess it happens for lots of different reasons.  I think a main cause is forgetting WHY you are where you are and WHY you are doing what you are doing.  We get caught up in the details, we get caught up in ourselves, we get caught up in the madness around us, and we start to fixate on how we are going to solve the issues and fix problems.

I don’t realize I am doing this of course till I am on a boda in the middle of Kampala and I want to punch everyone I see.  What is that about Katie?  I can do very few things really well on my own, one of which is being a real jerk.  I am good at that by myself.  I woke up this morning knowing that some things have to change.  There are so many “things” that need to be done, but if I am not looking to the one and only God that can do any of these “things” then our cause is hopeless.  Not just hopeless, plain DUMB. 

I am young, naïve, with not a whole lot of experience in ministry.  I have so much to learn.  I didn’t want to admit to myself or God that I could possibly be nearing “burn out” after just 2 months of ministry here in Uganda.  How could that be?  Am I really that stinking weak???  Yup.  I sure am.  Hunger and death and poverty and need and sickness are that strong and evident here that they beat me down when I do ministry by myself.  And it happens quickly.  PRAISE GOD.  I prayed not too long ago that God would help my stubborn heart realize how I need him for everything.  Another prayer answered as always.

  I am weak and I need God for everything.  EVERYTHING.  I need him to get out of bed in the morning, I need him to give me compassion and love for the people around me, I need him to help me not want to punch people that yell at me on the street, I need him.   I will rejoice in my weakness.  It is through humble eyes that we can only see Jesus.  Without Jesus ministry is dumb and no fun.   

At times I am in the word and I ask God to give me revelation, greater insight, and new vision.  I think- “Man, if I can just learn more, then things will make sense and I will feel right again with God.”  This morning I am reminded of the foundation that Jesus has taught me and wants me to remember- 1) God is real.  2)  I am not dead anymore, so why would I act defeated?  3) There is power in the name of Jesus.  4)  Ministry is hard, but Africa is fun, and telling people about Jesus is fun  5)  Jesus is everything- believe, know, and act on that.

I am praying for all of us to realize our great need for Jesus to invade our lives.  To break down the ideas that we have about God, and learn more about the heart of Jesus.  To be alone with our Maker and rest in his divine presence.  To have fun, play, run around, laugh, maybe cry, work hard, and then repeat.  We need him, and when we lean on that everything does change.  Fill us up God.  

Timothy

When we met Timothy, he came to Buganda field where we were having street reach. He had malaria and was shaking so badly, Katie could barely get a thermometer in his mouth. We ended up taking him to the clinic to get him treated for malaria. So began our friendship with this beautiful boy. 

A couple weeks after we met him and we had been watching him at several different programs, We decided that we really wanted to sponsor him and put him in school in January. He’s a brilliant kid. Whenever they have lessons, he’s the one telling the kids around him to behave and shush, so that he can listen. He is the homeless kid who puts money in the offering on Sundays at church. 

We had decided to sponsor him and put him in a boarding school in January, but we hadn’t told him that yet. The day that we wanted to tell him, we had no time, there were too many kids around - too much going on, no translator. 

That same day we hadn’t told him yet - Mallory found herself walking with him and a group of kids through the slum, and the conversation went something like this...

Timothy: When I go back to school in January...

Mallory interrupts: You’re going to back school in January? 

Timothy: Yeah, I am

Mallory: Who is putting you in school?

Timothy: I don’t know

Mallory: Well how do you know that you are going back to school? 

Timothy: God told me. I was praying about going back to school, and God told me that someone was going to put me in school in January. 

The Holy Spirit moves through this boy. 

He drops everything to be in church on Sunday, even if that means not going to collect scrap and make money. 

2 weeks ago, he didn’t show up to the program. We asked Bwanika where he was, and he told us that TImothy had gone home. We were both confused and worried. 

The following friday, Timothy shows up to our tutoring session with his brother and his mom. 

His mom wanted to speak with us - at first we didn’t know if she was angry or thankful - but we were leaning towards angry. Turns out, she was thankful. She confirmed Timothy’s story that he told us, that his dad abused him, and she had been gone for awhile and while she was gone Timothy ran away. 

She asked us to meet with her and their pastor the next day. To make a long story somewhat shorter: We meet with her and her pastor the next day, and the pastor translated more so we could really find out what was going on. Mom had been looking for Timothy for awhile, but couldn’t find him. The pastor had been working with this family for years now, the dad is terribly abusive and the pastor told us that it was a good thing that Timothy ran away when he did, because if he hadn’t he probably would have died. 

Humbly, his mom asked is we would still be willing to sponsor Timothy into school. We told her that we still wanted to. 

She asked where he would stay on holidays, could he stay with us? 

Both of us, at first were confused and maybe a little upset. We don’t want to be the mzungus that get taken advantage of, and if a kid can be at home - then he should be at home. 

Then we realized that this mom loves her son so much that she doesn’t want him on the streets. 

She also loves her son so much that she knows that he is not safe at home. 

She loves her son so much that she knows she wouldn’t ever be able to provide for him on her own. 

Together with their pastor, a loving and unselfish mother, we made a plan for our friend Timothy. The next month and a half he will be at home - where he will stay with lots of prayer and lots of places and people to go if things turn bad. Then boarding school with a home to stay in over the holidays, where mom can come visit as much as she wants. 

Please be praying for our friend Timothy. For discernment, for safety, to continue to growing into the man of God that he is. For his mom, that she knows that she is beautiful and treasured and that God will provide everything that she needs. For his dad - for conviction and change, for gentility and love to overflow out of him. For a sponsor for our friend Timothy to go to school. For relationships with that family. For their pastor, who works closely with them. For HOPE. For all 7 of Timothy’s brothers.  For God to love that family exactly the way that he wants to. 

We also ask that you pray for us to have discernment and wisdom through all of this.  Above everything though we don’t want to put limits on how Jesus loves.  His love is like a sea without a shore, and we are supposed to be like Jesus.  He brings restoration and life, and we will continue to live in that promise and proclaim it to this nation. We are new at this whole thing, heck we are new at life, and we realize our great need for Jesus in EVERYTHING.  We are thankful for you friends, for your prayers, for the fact that you are reading this, and fighting for love, mercy, and justice.  It is worth the fight. 

Prom

We’re just coming out of the rainy season here. The rainy season is the Ugandan winter, so for the Ugandans this means sweatshirts,  heavy coats, snow pants, definitely some knitted and crocheted hats, and sometimes even boots during this chilly 70 degrees F weather. For the Americans, this means slipping awkwardly in public places, many dirty falls, heavy prayers on boda rides, daily changes in our schedule due to torrential downpours, hiding in random huts when the floods start coming, getting stuck in the mud while you are walking-to the point of having to abandon your sandals and try to pull your legs out of the mud, and anytime you leave the house with clean feet you don’t make it to the gate before they are dirty (unless you are Ugandan, they have this ability to walk in the mud and not get dirty, I have yet to acquire this though).

A few sundays back, we walked into the slum we work in and Katie and I were there early for the program. She started doing medical and I ended up playing football with the boys, when the sky opened up and the rain started coming. This is usual a funny moment, because every Ugandan runs for cover like high school girls on their way to prom when it starts raining (except for the 4 naked children who decided to make a muddy slip and slide on the soccer pitch). We all huddle in this classroom, 2 mzungus and a bunch of rowdy kids who are terrified of the rain. It soon becomes a game of trying to throw each other outside of the classroom into the rain coming down, which leads to everyone getting soaking wet, to dancing in the rain, to playing in the rain. The church’s gutters are gushing water and many of the boys are huddled around it washing their faces and splashing each other. By this time, I was really muddy, and I walked up to the gutter with the intentions of joining in the fun...but as soon as I got there the 4 boys there grabbed my feet and started scrubbing. I mean, SCRUBBING. These kids for being street kids and living in the dirt, are some of the most peculiar and particular kids I have ever met when they set their mind to it, and they decided that my feet were going to be clean.

I’m standing in a slum in the pouring rain having my feet washed by homeless kids. 

I don’t have some huge analogy or revelation about what this meant to me. There was actually not a lot of words that I could say to describe it. I have been feeling a lot that way lately, no words are sufficient. All that comes to my mind, is THANK YOU.

I wouldn’t be honest if I said that being here I am constantly overflowing with the Holy Spirit and everything is perfect, I would actually be blatantly lying. However, a couple of weeks back I wrote this is my journal:

“Jesus, thank you for where I am. The ultimate trust is when you are in a bad place and you can say thank you for where you are because you are trusting in the rescue.” 

Mark 6 has been coming up a lot - I’ve preached on it, constantly turned to it in my quiet time, talked about it with my friends, and then have listened to several podcasts on it. There are so many things I could touch on that speak to me, so many different aspects of feeding the 5,000. The one that truly gets me every time is this verse:

“Taking the 5 loaves and 2 fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks, and broke the loaves.” 

All that Jesus did before this miracle was give thanks. 

So when I feel distant from God and I find myself asking God, “Who are you? Where are you?!” I give thanks. 

When I walk into the slums and see kids that are so sick and hurt that they can’t move or walk - I give thanks. 

When I watch a kid who is 13 and doesn’t even know all his letters trying to learn the alphabet - I give thanks. (side note - 3 weeks later, this kid is reading SENTENCES. My heart explodes with joy every time I hear “The cat sat on the mat” or The pot is hot” or “Where is the box?” or “Why are you sad?” 

When I see homeless kids putting money in the offering at church - I give thanks. 

When I see street kids too ashamed to come to church because they are filthy - I give thanks. 

When I see the boys that we are sponsoring into school in January and get frustrated because they are still on the streets and every time I walk into the slum I don’t know if they will still be there - I give thanks. 

When I am overwhelmed by how busy I am - I give thanks. 

I am often overwhelmed by NEED. The kid who needs a home. The kid who needs hope. The kid who is starving. The kid who I have never seen smile and who needs a good laugh. The needs we have for ministry. The need for sponsorship. The need for rest. The need for intimacy with the Lord. The need for my heart to be humble and wise.  The need for chains to be broken and lives to be healed. 

I look at the dying and the dead, and bow my head to pray for redemption and healing and LIFE and Joy and provision...but every time, all that comes out is thank you. 

At first, I wanted better words than that. Slowly, God is showing me that that is all I need to say in those times. 

Thank you for where I am (1 Tim 6:6) 

Thank you for the rescue that’s coming. 

At all times and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father. - Ephesians 5:20

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. Philippians 4:6

Have the roots of your being firmly and deeply planted [in Him, fixed and founded in Him], being continually built up in Him, becoming increasingly more confirmed and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and abounding and overflowing in it with thanksgiving. Colossians 2:7 

For everything God has created is good, and nothing is to be thrown away or refused if it is received with thanksgiving. 1 Timothy 4:4