You Boy,

You Boy, 

Not many men can face rejection and the abuse that you faced and learn to love again. Not many again can be threatened by their father that “if you ever come back to this home, I will break both of your legs,” and still submerge themselves into a family. Not many men can make friends again after being beaten, lied to, stolen from, and abused by their peers. Not many men can leave the drugs of their choosing that have become their best friends, because in the end they are the only ones they can depend on to take them to a safe place. Three days you shook. Three days you faced the pain of withdrawal. Three days you conquered. 

It is my joy to watch you come alive. It is my honor to see you in your purest form. It is my delight to see your eyes dance with light. It is my pleasure to watch you begin to recognize the goodness that lives within you. It makes my Spirit sing when the boy comes out of you who is pure, sweet, childlike, trusting, and joyful; and you look at yourself and question “who is this boy?” There is no shame in the man you are becoming. You are learning that there is no shame in being loved. There is no shame in loving somebody. It makes my heart cry “hallelujah!” when you continuously talk about what you’ve seen in the “Jesus film” and how you ask to watch it literally every day. I’ve loved watching your swollen belly, destroyed with malnutrition and worms, shrink down to a size of a starving child, and then fill out, full of good things. I’ve seen your strength, as your muscles wake up from years of drunken stupor and incapacitating highs. You can swing, and play football, and run, and do handstands, and flip, and jump.

These moments right now are fleeting, but growing in frequency. They help me be patient when you lie to me. They help me love when you look at me with misplaced bitterness. They help me forgive when you treat me as if I have done the most unforgivable thing to you. They help me fight for you when you want to fight with your brothers. They help me see you at times when there is no light to be seen. 

You are strong. You have conquered. You are beautiful. You are brave. You are loved.