Poor People Are Cool.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”-Matthew 5:3

I have read this verse at the beginning of Matthew quite a few times.  I never gave it a lot of thought, except for the few times as a kid I remember thinking – “Gosh this sounds sad, I hope I’m always happy and have plenty of chicken nuggets.”  Valid thought as a child…

 It wasn't until I moved to Uganda and met the poor in spirit, the great street child theologians, the 3-year old preachers of Jesus that this verse became real to me and wrecked me forever.

A lot of us have heard the stories or even experienced the great awakening of God happening among the persecuted, the poor, and the desperate around the world.  I’m not writing this page to just bring a single, apathetic tear or the token- “bless their hearts.”  I don’t want you to feel sorry for the poor in spirit; I want us to hunger and thirst with them, learning from their example.  I’m writing on this page in much agony and pain, begging God to help America become “poor in spirit.”  Now please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not promoting the so-called “poverty gospel.”  I’m not saying move out of your house and into a cardboard box (unless God is actually calling you to do so- don’t put Him past it!).   I am not praying for my country to break out in civil unrest, experience famine, or massive epidemics. I just think there is something very fundamental that we can learn from the poor, something that will change us, something that will leave us desperate for the riches they do have. They will teach us about the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.

Jesus tells a story of a wedding feast (Luke 14: 15-24).  The master of the house prepares a wonderful feast; he wants to fill his house with guests.  He sends out his servants to invite the guests in.  The problem is the first people he invites say no!  They have all these excuses for not coming. 

“Sorry Jesus, I just bought a field, and I must go see it.”

“Sorry, just bought some new oxen, on my way to try them out…”

“Sorry, I just got married, I can’t come.”

When the master of the house finds out that everyone refused, he becomes angry and orders his servant to quickly go out into the streets and invite the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.  The rich and affluent were too busy; they had better things to do.

I thought God was sending me to Uganda to help people and “end poverty”.  In reality, God called me to Uganda to sit and eat at the banquet table with the poor, to learn from their desperation, to weep and mourn, to hunger and thirst, to become poor in spirit.  I think Heidi Baker says it best in her book “Compelled by Love”-

“The poor will never say no to a feast.  They will come to eat spiritual food and to eat physical food.  But the Lord is setting out a spiritual banquet for His Western bride too.  The challenge in the West is that many are too full.  We have smorgasbords, buffets, and restaurants at almost every corner.  So, people in the Western world are often just not hungry.  In my travels to the Western world, I see that the church is often surviving on spiritual crumbs.” –Heidi Baker

“The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.” – Matthew 26:11

We are called by God to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and learn from their poverty in spirit.  Maybe that’s why we will always have the poor with us, because the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them and we must have our eyes opened to the Kingdom.  Jesus has set out a banquet for each one of us; He is still inviting people in.

I don’t want to be too busy or preoccupied with the things of this world that I miss out on the invitation to be with Jesus.  In reality, we are all poor and orphaned until we enter into the family of God.  When Jesus looks at us he doesn't see rich or poor, African or American, liberal or conservative, hipster or prep, young or old; He sees His kids.  He wants to be with His children forever, and He expects that we will drop everything to be at His banquet table.  Being poor in spirit does not mean that we are miserable and miss out on all the fun and chicken nuggets.  Being poor in spirit is the great awakening you have been longing for, it is the key to your personal revival, it is the beginning of a glorious forever with Him.

"I think the work of the Church in this developed and rich Western Hemisphere is more difficult than in Calcutta, South Yemen, or other areas where the needs of the people are reduced to the clothes needed to ward off the cold, or a dish of rice to curb their hunger- anything that will show them that someone loves them.  In the West the problems the poor have go much deeper; the problems are in the depths of their hearts."- Mother Teresa

Yes

There’s beautiful chaos in this house. 

An hour or two of laughter every night before bedtime. Edwin running around screaming “ya man!” Somebody is always telling Baby Sam to go put on pants. Fervent times of prayer and worship when we come together as a family. Uncle David and Timothy are always worshipping in the living room. When one of our five dogs barks, they all bark, and then Ivan also barks with them. Sick patients that provoke arguments amongst the boys of who is going to have the honor of giving them their bed. Endless hours of football discussion that always seem to go on right under my window. Morris’ cackle as he runs around the house. Bwanika’s ‘no’ is always a ‘yes’ that comes with a joke and a good laugh. The congregation of hungry boys that crowd around the charcoal stove every night before dinner time. The laughter, the arguments, the prayers, and the joyful shouting that comes from this home can be overwhelming - but it’s also life bringing. 

God never asked me to say yes to living in a home with 17 other people. 

I was never asked to agree to being bitten, beaten, and spat on by a 9 year old little boy who lives on the streets. 

He never asked me to say yes to suffering, to being uncomfortable, or to weariness. 

And He has never said, “Mal, you are going to live in Uganda for 18 years. You are going to live in Ggaba for the first 4 years. I’m going to use you to open up a home for former street children. You will see Me bring in 184 children. I will move you out onto a big piece of land where Doors will build a boarding school, a clinic, a church, and have many small businesses throughout the slums. Is that ok with you?” 

He’s never asked me that. 

“Will you live for Me today?” 

“Will you love Me with all you have today?” 

“Will you let Me love you right now?” 

“Will you believe in Me today?”

That’s what He asks of me. He’s never asked me to say “yes!” to some giant, awesome life plan that He has spelled out every minute of that involves glorifying Him with every minute of it. 

Instead He asks me to say “yes!” to glorifying Him every minute by letting Him love me so that I can love and believe in Him and live out an amazing, awesome life plan that I am pretty clueless to, but He leads me through.

I say “yes” to believing in Him, and “doing the works the He does.” (John 14:12) Jesus never started a home for children that were homeless during his three and a half years of ministry. He never started a school for children who were starving and had no education. He never employed women so that they wouldn’t have to prostitute themselves.  He was never so caught up in ministry that He didn’t love. 

He made disciples and He loved. He taught people how to receive their daily bread. 

Our heart at Doors is not about how many children we can get off the street, or how many children we can sponsor out of Namuwongo, or how many women we can help so that they can feed their families. Our heart is discipleship. It is spreading the love of Jesus everywhere we walk. It is teaching every person in our Doors family that God is the giver of everything good and that if we say ‘yes’ to Him that we will have all that we need. That is they left Doors Ministries tomorrow they would still have everything that they need - because they are rooted in the Word and in the love of Christ. 

What God has to give to each woman, man, and child we meet is so much important than what we could ever give physically. Jesus said that the poor would always be with us - that’s why it is important to give something that overcomes poverty - the pure, undefiled love of Jesus Christ and fellowship with the Holy Spirit. We have to say YES to receiving it! 

I say “yes” to being loved by Him and to trusting Him wherever He may lead - even to the ends of this earth! I say ‘yes’ to loving Jesus so that when that street kid bites me and my anger and outrage flare up in my heart and hateful eyes look back at me wanting to see my anger and hate, the only emotions these children are used to, my anger and outrage are squashed in my heart and God’s love and forgiveness are seen. 

We are quick to make our life plans. We like to seek out the whole picture to see if it sounds good and exciting to us. We often don’t reach God’s promises for us because we are too busy trying to compromise with God because we think we know what is best for us. 

I don’t want to miss out on a single moment with God, not a single blessing, not a single encounter with Him, not a single place where He wants me to walk with Him. If God had shown me two years ago where I would be right now, I’m not sure that I would have said “yes.” I think I would have wanted to compromise. I would have wanted to know my end date. 

A few weeks ago, a sick friend came and stayed at our house from the slum. She found herself among the middle of our beautiful chaos - screaming, shouting, cackling - and she looked a little overwhelmed. I quickly apologized for the children running around making massive amounts of noise.

“No,” she said, “God has given you well.” 

He has. It didn’t start with a yes to ministry or a life plan. 

It was a yes to being in love with Him. 

It’s been better, harder, and more joyful than I could have ever imagined. 

And it’s only getting started! 

We never cry alone

Last week the Doors home turned into a bit of a hospital. We had many patients from Namuwongo slum staying with us, and one of them was a six year old little boy who had been badly burned five days before. He’s in top class (kindergarden) about to go into Primary one, but had been in the village over the weekend.  His whole wrist was covered in a nasty scab, packed with herbs and local medicine when he was brought to school. 

I took him to the clinic with a lot of uneasiness in my stomach. I do not have a good reputation in taking kids to the clinic. There has been some fainting in the past, some severe wooziness, and even the occasional day when I have tossed my cookies. 

We sat in the waiting room waiting for the nurse to come and clean the wound, knowing that she was going to have to scrub off all the herbs and the scabs, and I’m sure that I was more nervous than he was. The nurse came and got him, and looked at me and said, “You don’t have to come in if you don’t want to.” (they know me there). 

I went in. I held down a screaming, thrashing, bleeding child as the nurse cleaned his burn. At the end, with his arm wrapped up and tears still streaming down his face, he looked at me and whispered “thank you.” 

We celebrated that it was over with juice and a mandazi (think doughnut) and I thought about how painful it would have been for me to sit outside that room and listen to him scream and wail while I just sat there. Even though I wanted to vomit, and he poured blood all over one of my favorite shirts, and I felt like possibly the most cruel person in the world pinning him down to have his burn cleaned....It would have been worse if I had sent him alone. 

God doesn’t send us in to cry alone. He doesn’t wait outside the hospital room. He holds us in His arms even when we are thrashing and screaming and the world has burned us. 

He doesn’t send us into this world and think to himself “Ohh this is gonna hurt....." and then simply leave us to bear the pain.

He came down with us. He got our blood all over Him. 

He’s in the present. He can’t bear the thought of watching and listening to us suffer without holding us with all the strength that He has. When unbelief and sin entered the world, He knew it was going to hurt. 

He holds us in His arms until that day comes when the pain is over, and even though we may have suffered, and even though this life hurts, and even though there are days where we don’t understand the pain or why something has happened to us -- I know when my earthly body fades I will look my Daddy in the eyes and say “Thank you” and all my tears will be washed away. 

There are days when my heart feels like a hot mess, literally sweating over everything good and bad inside of it. And there's not many feelings to me that are worse than being clean and getting sweaty.  I can feel like my heart is burned or infected and days like this I feel like I am a job to God, one that never gets done. 

Sometimes it’s hard for people to love one another. We can’t imagine having such a Holy love that we don’t have to work hard at loving somebody. Usually, when I am ‘working hard’ at loving somebody, it’s not the actual work of making that phone call, or surprising that friend, or cleaning up their mess... it is that I am praying for my own heart to be changed. For me to be selfless, for me to not grow angry, for me to hold my tongue - for the Spirit to live in me in such a way that PURE love bursts forth out of my heart. 

The Holy Spirit is God. His love is untouched by selfishness, anger, or any other sin that stems from unbelief. Such a pure love that NEVER considers it work to love us. It is not His job to love us - It’s His desire, the deepest longing in His heart to love His children, such an intense desire that He would send His Son to die to be able to love us freely. 

I think it brings joy to God's heart when we see things the way that He sees them, with Kingdom eyes. How humbling it is to know that our God doesn't call us a job He has to do, and how honoring it is to Him when we don't see ourselves that way either! 

We are His delight. 

-Mal

Not lacking.

"I have everything I need."

Words that can only come from my heart when my mind is righteous - not when my needs are met. 

Every Tuesday the leaders of Doors have a Bible study and devotion.  At 7:40 this morning, I'd just spent an hour and a half on the phone with America before I remembered it was me leading. I asked God where we needed to study and He said "psalm 23."

"We've all studied that before." I mumbled to God. 

"My Word is not dead, it's living.  Let it breathe life." 

I opened my Bible. 

The Lord is my shepherd..... A shepherd's job is to make sure the sheep are fed really well, to protect them, and to keep them close to him. As a sheep, our job is to be led, fed, and abide with the shepherd.  The greatest leaders for the Kingdom are the ones who submit to being led. It is not our job to submit our plans and wait for His stamp of approval and "it is not our job to give God instructions, we simply are to report to duty..." (Corrie ten Boom).

There is nothing I lack (verse 1). 

When God sees His sheep ( those who have chosen to follow Him), He doesn't see them lacking anything. If we aren't careful our entire relationship with Christ can be us asking for where and what we see ourselves lacking.  Great poverty and great wealth share a lot of the same sickness - a perceived lack that will satisfy us. for the impoverished it is lacking basic needs and a mentality that they will never have anything they need.  For the wealthy it is a lack of the next best thing and a lack of things that they deem can comfort them. 

Lacking is a mentality we as believers need to get rid of. 

If we let The Lord be our shepherd, He leads us to everything we need. 

I shall not lack food. ( He lets me lie down in green pastures. Not yellow or brown - green! Grace! )

I shall not lack living water. (He leads me beside quiet waters)

I shall not lack vitality. ( He restores my life)

I shall not lack direction (He leads me on right paths)

I shall not lack courage (He is with me even in the valley of the shadow of death) 

I shall not lack comfort. ( The daily disciplines of walking with Him, His rod and His staff, they comfort me)

I shall not lack being blessed (He prepares a table before me)

I shall not lack healing. (He anoints my head with oil- shepherds used to use oil to help heal wounds and scratches on sheep ). 

I shall not lack praise. ( my cup overflows!!) 

I shall not lack anything good. ( not worldly good, Godly good! Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me!!) 

I shall not lack a dwelling place  ( I will dwell in the house of The Lord as long as I live.) 

To the world I look like  a young; single woman, living across the world from her family, constantly saying goodbye to my friends, with a bank account that does not secure my living, a job that make you feel every emotion in the world five times each in the same day, and a life that doesn't really have a plan. 

But I can truly and joyfully say - I am not lacking anything. I have everything I need. 

That's not just a mentality God wants to free me from. Most of you who read this are on the other side of the world and His will for you there is the same for me here. 

He wants you to see yourself the way He sees you, not lacking anything, only then can we stop looking at the things around us to define us and satisfy us. 

His freedom is beyond measure. Lets let the Shepherd lead. -Mal

Eyes.

Jacob after 2 weeks of treatment

All of them were high
Eyes swollen with redness
Drug induced fevers dripping sweat into eyes 
Eyes that circled the room unable to focus
Eyes that weren’t seeing reality
Wanting to be blind, because it’s better than what they see. 
Except for one. 

His eyes weren’t swollen, itchy, or red - 
But full of pain
squinted together trying to hold back tears.

He had been beaten with a piece of jagged metal, 
for sleeping on a sidewalk,
because there are no parents to give him a bed. 

His fever was from infection, not from drugs, 
His wound was close to two inches deep, 
And he didn’t need to be there.                                                  

He was welcomed home with joy from his brothers, 
He was taken to the hospital every day for two weeks, 
He has fallen into the family and nobody wants to see him go, 

Because that Jacob, his eyes were open, 
He never saw himself lost,
He had been waiting, 
Because he could see something better coming. 

                                                                

An Odd Pair

I would say that he is 8 

But that’s hard to say, because when most of our boys lived on the street they looked like they were 11 or 12, and now after two years of being fed and several inches later, they look more like what they should be, 15 or 16. 

He was high on ‘chenge’ - the local drug that street kids use here. 
Petrol exhaust. 
It curbs the hunger and the fear.

(Chenge) 

His high wore off by the end of the program and he took my hand saying he wanted to walk me to my taxi. 
He wanted me to get there safely. 
We walked. 
Me and my protector. 
A funny pair we made, a tall white woman with a small, extremely dirty black child. 

We stopped to buy fabric for our new backpacks. 
He hesitated when I entered the store. 
His type are usually not allowed in any store, even the local markets. 
I grabbed his hand and pulled him in there with me. 
Two years ago I would have been ashamed to let a street kid see me spend 100,000 shillings ($40) on fabric, while they were busy scraping together 100 shillings a day to eat. 

Today was different. 
For a moment, I wanted him to know that he isn’t a street kid. 
We laughed as we picked out fabric. 
Trying out different ones and parading around the small store. 
He became a “Kitenge” fabric expert and very carefully selected his best fabrics. 

He walked me to my taxi, right to the door, and then turned around back into the crowd and the big city swallowed him. 

My protector should be protected. He should be clean. He should be fed. He should be able to laugh every day and dream big dreams. He should be loved. 
Only in the kingdom will every child experience that. 

We are prayerfully planning to bring in two more kids in December (plus the one we acquired last week - but I’ll save that story for another blog) 
Logistically, our house will be stretching to hold 11 boys. 
I look at my protector and want to bring him home. 
I know that it’s not quite possible right now. 
It would be easier for me to break off this relationship. 
To not invest in a boy that I can’t help until we have a bigger LAND! ( I said it! We’re looking!) 
To not let myself fall in love with a child where I don’t know what’s going to happen. 
To protect him from looking for those from me as well. 
People say that you can’t let your heart break for every kid.
But I think that Jesus’ does. 
I think Jesus sees a purpose greater than getting this kid off the street. 
I think Jesus looks at him and says “I paid the price for him too.” 
I wish we could take them all. I really do. 
But more than that, I want them to know what the love of Jesus is, that he doesn’t call them street kids, but he calls them His own. 
And I think that’s worth a walk to the taxi park. 

-Mal

What I see.

When I pray for our kids  I don't see them sitting in class, learning English, and doing the day to day things they do.  I see them as young men, growing in faith and love, and doing so much more. Maybe sooner than we think.

I see Tim standing up in a room full of people, preaching the gospel with a steadiness and faith that resembles Steven in the book of Acts.

I see Bwanika reaching out to the broken, powerless, left-out women and children- showing them a straight and narrow path full of hope and love.  All the while making a lot of people laugh.

I see Fred raising up his own family one day, leading them in power, wisdom, and truth.

I see Sam being compelled by the love of Christ to hold the hand of the broken, far-off, and sick.

I see Edwin having more friends than anyone on the planet, God using his bright eyes, smile, and personality to usher the Kingdom here on earth.  He will probably change his profession 100 times.

I see Ivan- strong, confident, and humble.  Refined by the Fire of the Holy Spirit, leading sheep to their Shepherd.

I see Richard leading a generation of children to come awake with the love and passion of God.  I see him creating some pretty cool artwork along the way too.

I see Morris teaching, pouring into the kids that struggle the most, and expecting the impossible from a very possible God.

I see other kids being welcomed into our home, and the same crazy growth rising up in them.

Here we are, with tears in our eyes watching this all happen, watching the death of self give birth to completely new creations that will change Uganda and the world.