Hopin and Prayin

Hope is a beautiful thing. I see HOPE every day. I see hope in every pair of eyes I look into, even the kids that are flyin higher than a kite, there is still a desperate plea for hope in their eyes. We all look for it. We all desire it. I've been finding myself praying out of it. Praying and hoping that God will be faithful to my prayers. Here's the thing. God is faithful. I should be praying out of faith and trust, not out of hope.
I dont' want to pray - "Jesus,  I pray you change this kid's life." Then leave it there and hope that He cares enough to do something.
What happens when the believers start praying out of faith?
What happens when we believe and trust that God is faithful?
What happens when we know that God's will is SO good that we don't have to hope that he's faithful?

I don't need to hope that God is faithful.
I have hope BECAUSE God is faithful.

We've been spending a lot of time with a kid named Bwanika. Katie and I like to call him Peter Pan. He was born in Tanzania, and when his parents divorced his mom left for Uganda. He tried to live with his dad and stepmom but was abused badly, so he came to Uganda to try and live with his mom. His mom had also remarried and when he began to be abused by both of those parents as well, he ran away to the streets. He was 6. He is now 13, and has been living on the streets for 7 years.

He is by no means an "easy" kid to get off the streets. An easy kid, would be a seven year old who wants to hold your hand and snuggle and smiles a lot and has only been on the streets for two weeks.

He is that kid who jumps at any chance to start trouble. He flaps his arms and squawks like a bird half the time you try to talk to him. He is the kid that will lie down in the middle of the sermon, just because he knows it means I will have to walk over there and tell him to sit up. He speaks good English, but only speaks to you in Luganda. You may have heard me mention him in previous blogs - most days he makes me want to pull out my hair, or he is really pulling my hair trying to brush it out. 

BUT - 

He's also that kid who came to me and asked me to bring some clothes for his friend Timothy, because he really needs some. 

stubborn. impossible. too old. trouble. 

those are words that I have heard people describe him with. 

Today we met Bwanika and two other boys at Calvary Chapel. When we got there, the first thing Bwanika shows us is a very swollen hand.
The conversation went something like this:
"Did you punch something?" -Katie
"Yeah" -Bwanika
"Was it a person?" - Katie
"Yeah" - Bwanika (with a big sheepish smile)
"Then did you run?" Katie
"Yeah!" -Bwanika

At the end of this conversation, Katie's mad, Mallory's disappointed. It was that sinking realization of maybe you haven't changed as much as I thought, or maybe you will never change.

Then Bwanika added that the man who he punched was strangling him. People here see street kids as nothing - as something to get rid of, so he punched, then he ran.

Yeah, he's not an easy kid, but he's still a kid and no matter what I can provide him with, at the end of the day he still heads back out on the streets to survive.

I'm watching God change this kid's life, and I'm learning about how much God loves me. How even when I frustrate God, irritate Him, drive him up the wall because I don't listen - I can still make him smile at the end of the day. He loves me that much. He cares for me infinitely. He cares for Bwanika infinitely. God doesn't want me to hope that He might change Bwanika's life.
He wants me to believe and be joyful that He is being faithful to what He has promised. (Jeremiah 33:3-12)

I have been convicted over something I have been praying.
I've been praying:
God, love me in a new way today.
God, let me see you in a new way today.
God, let me worship you in a new way today.
God, let me delight in you in a new way today.

God doesn't want to love me in a new way, He wants to love me in every way. He wants me to see Him in every way. He wants me to worship Him in every way. A new piece of God will not satisfy - but all of Him will.

I feel like this blog has grown a little scatter brained and maybe not straight to the point. So I'm gonna end it.
Good night world - may God love you in every way He wants to.