Tonight I chased a homeless lady without legs and I lost

Every Sunday, sometimes Saturdays, sometimes Fridays, sometimes days when I’m in the city and need a clean toilet - I walk up 80 steps, 6 flights of stairs, and 6 floors to the church we attend, Calvary Chapel. If you’re on your way to church and you somehow make it into the building without breaking a sweat, it doesn’t last long. 

Hence, I like to sit near the windows. Windows are fun. Windows have a nice breeze. 

Tonight we went to the monthly worship night at church. I made it up the stairs and took my seat right next to the window. I couldn’t concentrate. I wanted to praise, I wanted to be into worship, but it wasn’t happening. 

Pretty soon I just found myself staring out the window into downtown Kampala. My eyes fell on a lady with her two children in the middle of the street, trying to make her way up quite a big hill. The lady didn’t have legs, so with flip flops on her hands she was propelling herself up this hill, very slowly, while her children played in the street waiting for their mom to make it up the hill.

There was a very distinct “Go help her, Mallory” from the Lord.

This story doesn’t have a happy ending.

I fought. 

“Is that you God? Can you send someone to affirm that for me? Maybe you can give somebody a word and they will come up and tell me that You are telling me to go help this lady? That would be great, thanks. People stare at me enough, God. I don’t need to go down there and pick up a lady without legs and carry her up this hill. I don’t want to do it just to be a hero.” 

I watched this lady for thirty minutes, struggle to make it 50 feet. She took 2 breaks which were both about ten minutes long. I tried to ignore it, I tried to turn back and put my attention on church - 

But I was trying to sit in a building, instead of be the church. 

Everything inside of me was screaming GO. 

Katie turned around and asked me if I was going to throw up. 

About two minutes later, my best friend and I are running down the 80 steps, 6 flights of stairs, and 6 floors of this tall building. 

Tonight I chased a homeless lady without legs and I lost. 

Katie and I hurried outside, chasing after this woman, not sure what the heck we were going to do when we got there. My heart was breaking for this lady. Right when we were going to reach her, she clambered with her children into a taxi. 

There was about 5 seconds where our eyes met and she stared at me and I stared at her. 

I see ladies without legs all the time here, that’s not what got me. There was something about this ONE woman. 

I felt like I failed. I fought too long before I followed. 

Sometimes I’m scared to be radical. 

Sometimes I’m scared to be bold. 

Sometimes I’m scared to love like Jesus loves. 

As we were walking back inside, back up the 80 steps, 6 flights of stairs, and 6 floors to church, it hit me. I pass legless ladies all the time begging on the streets. Every day. Every day. Never once have I really felt God screaming STOP, but I’ll smile and wave and ask them how they are doing. This one time I had a hardboiled egg left over from lunch and gave it to one of them. 

Today God screamed stop what you are doing and GO. I was a little late. But here’s the thing - it got me thinking about these beautiful women on the streets. Yes, they don’t have legs, but they have hands! beautiful hands that work hard, that beg for food, and that walk them home every day. I thought about the 1,000 necklaces we are trying to make before March 25th. I decided that tomorrow I am going to go sit down on the streets of Kampala, make some friends, teach my friends how to make paper beads, work with them making paper beads, and then pay them for the work their beautiful hands are doing. 

Maybe I’ll run into the woman I saw today, I hope I do.