People ask me all the time what does life look like here. What do you do? What do you eat? Do you have friends? Do you have community? What’s IT like?
My life here is simple. Sometimes a struggle, sometimes so easy, but ALWAYS covered in abundant favor. In my head, it’s no longer “my life in Uganda.” It’s just LIFE.
I used to be so cautious of culture, it was getting in my way of loving. Now I have no shame geeking out to a random stranger about how good God is, I’ve gotten over feeling judged and watched every penny I spend because I am white, and I am certainly not going to look at the man who is trying to take my bag and smile and say “Jesus loves you,” instead he will meet my elbow, or my best friend. I don’t have to study the street like I’m about to take my SAT before I cross it. I can look around when I walk around town, because I am not concerned with falling on my face (bumpy roads). I can bargain and barter and don’t have to pay the Mzungu Price for everything.
My days consist of homeschooling, responding to 482395 emails and facebook messages, eating posho and beans, meeting with whoever God has brought into our path to meet with that day, and always something unexpected. They consist of delighting in the most tasty pineapple, avocados, and banana chips that your mouth can ever imagine. They consist of washing my laundry with my hands (shocker, I know), making my bed every morning (Mom, you should be proud! Ugandans are the best at making beds, and it’s a habit that I think has unfortunately been instilled in me), and cooking our family meals on a charcoal stove. This also entails lighting matches, something I didn’t do until I was 21, building a fire, and making sure that you start the beans 6 hours before you want to eat them.
Every Thursday night, we have American night. We don’t really cook “American foods” because there aren’t that many, but we branch out from the Ugandan cuisine. That means - club sandwiches, hamburgers, spaghetti, hot dogs (which was a hard one to explain, that NO as much as we do not like Peanut, our dog, we did not cook him), and all kinds of fattening treats.
Does my mouth still water when I think about chick-fil-a, reeses cups, and a Mrs. Hall’s homemade grilled cheese? Of course! Did I look like the Febreeze girl who is so attracted to the smell of Febreeze she is found sniffing random areas of her house for awkward and extended periods of time when my mom sent laundry from home? Yes, I did. No shame.
I have a Jja Jja (grandma). Her name is Condy. She works at the market by our house and is our landlord’s sister-in-law. She takes care of us, in more ways than I can describe. She teaches us how to be tough Ugandan women who don’t put up with crap but love unconditionally. She loves our kids, disciplines our kids, yells at our kids, and they L.O.V.E. her. Today she gave me apple juice. My mouth watered uncontrollably. She is an answered prayer.
I have a Jja Jja (grandpa) named David. He’s white. He doesn’t teach me how to be a tough Ugandan woman, but he takes me out to Chinese food when he is in town and I treasure my time with this man. He teaches me about family. We laugh and I play jokes on him. He cares. He watches out for us.
I have friends of all ages, sorts, sizes, and colors. They take care of us, pour into us, answer our questions, laugh with us, ask us questions, challenge us, dream with us, live with us, and some of them never go home (cough cough Brenna). Our house is always open, BUT don’t worry parents - we do have a guard.
Every Saturday night we have worship at our house. Open invitation, sometimes there are 20 people, sometimes there is 1 person.
It’s just life now. So when people ask expecting that I am dong so profound, sometimes I enjoy telling them that today I watched Grey’s anatomy, made 45 paper beads, cooked dinner, taught homeschool, and played football with our kids. It’s normal. “Life in Uganda” which still has many unknowns, is becoming known. It’s no longer this glorious SHINY title.
There’s a reason for this. There’s a reason why I don’t wake up most mornings and want to cry and board a plane home. There’s a reason for why when we don’t know where our next meal is coming from or the money is taking too long to transfer from the US I don’t jump ship. There’s a reason for no matter how tired I am of disciplining these kids, that I discipline them every day. There’s a reason why I unconditionally love this booger that God has partnered me with in this journey, even though she makes weird noises in her sleep and blows her nose like an elephant.
It’s because I have stopped looking at the physical.
The world can look at my life and see eating the same meals every day, 11 kids that will drive you to pull out your hair, not enough money, no furniture in our living room, and friends and family back home that love and care for me so deeply and the world will say WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?
I am content.
“I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in. I know both how to have at little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret to being content - whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need.” Philippians 4:11-12
When we read this passage, we think about being content with what we have physically. We define this verse by filet mignon, mashed potatoes, and asparagus VERSES rice and beans. And we think that there is a secret there, that if we can have a content heart with rice and beans then we have learned the secret.
This is the secret that I’ve learned. Redefine that verse.
It’s not about being content with what we have physically - whether I sleep on a mattress on the floor or in a Holiday Inn Express Garden Suite. What is spiritual hunger? My faith is not perfect. God knows that. He knows that there are going to be times in my life when I am not full, when I am hungry, when I am in the valley - and He doesn’t promise to RESCUE me that second. Instead He promised that He will lead me into the desert to speak quietly to me (Hosea 2:15), He will let me be refined by fire (Daniel), and He will “give me meager bread and water during the oppression - but MY TEACHER will not hide himself any longer (Isaiah 30:20)” and He will teach me during THAT oppression.
Here’s the secret I’ve learned. It’s whether I feel like God is giving me meager bread, giving me my manna for the day, or I feel stuffed to the BRIM and there’s still 12 baskets left - to be content. I am content. I am content because I have learned to believe that God is so much more than a provider. I am content because I have learned to trust in the rescue. I am content because I KNOW that God is always going to feed me. I am no longer angry when I can’t feel God around me, and I am no longer upset when I cry out GOD WHERE ARE YOU?
Because He has taught me to trust that He is coming. He has taught me to look outside of my circumstances, because there is truly only ONE circumstance that He calls me to look at. I can’t see any worldly circumstance, when I look at the cross.
When I look at the cross, God opens my eyes to a holy and loving Father that sent His son whom He has spent eternity with and loves dearly and deeper than I can fathom, to die for me. God opens my heart to believe every truth that He has given me through His son. He will provide, He will love, He will rescue, He will redeem. When I look on that cross, God tells me to wait for Him. He is coming. That’s the only circumstance I need to see, is that God is coming. He is here with me. It’s easy to cry out GOD WHERE ARE YOU? WHY HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ME? WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO PROVIDE? when you aren’t looking at the cross. When we look on that cross, we don’t have to ask those questions, because He has already answered them.
Trust that. Teach us to trust in YOUR sacrifice. Teach us to trust in YOUR love. Lord, teach us discipline. Teach us to obey. We know that your “commands are not burdensome. Because everyone born of Christ, has overcome the world.” -1 John 3:5
May we learn the secret to being content. May we learn to look at you in everything and in every day. God, when we feel like we are in the desert, I pray that we just look. You are always waiting to be found.
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