Truth is, you're actually too jet lagged and overwhelmed to make any sound decision, whether it be latte choice or food choice.
You have just arrived home from your _______ (insert time- days, months, years) in ____________ (insert country).
Many of you who read this blog and follow Doors Ministries have lived and worked with us. You also understand these above thoughts and emotions quite well. Let's be real, most people who have stepped through the front door of our house in Uganda have had to step out and get on a plane back to America. In fact, the largest population of missionaries are ex-missionaries (I know I know, you are never really out of the mission field, but for the sake of this conversation, I'm making a distinction.)
I came back to America on December 28th, 2013. I had been living and breathing life in Uganda for about 2 1/2 years, and at that moment I found myself landing back in America for an undetermined amount of time. If you would have asked me to imagine my past 2 1/2 years in Uganda, it wouldn't even come close to the reality of it all. Traveling their with Mallory and two other good friends, realizing after 3 months that God was stirring in our hearts to walk in the impossible task He was putting before us, being scared out of our minds, looking up return flights to America just in case we totally bombed, extending our plane tickets a year, starting the boys home, starting the school, starting the women's ministry, opening the nurses office…. In the path of all this we meet friends that we will be forever bonded with in soul, we almost fail in all areas of ministry multiple times, Mallory and I almost lose our friendship, we lose sight of Jesus as the forefront of our ministry and lives. It has all been glorious, and gloriously hard. But, as 22 year olds, fresh out of university, we had it coming. Those mistakes and trials do not stop the incredible growth of our boys and Doors volunteers, our faults do not hinder the growth of the school, and the women's ministry is literally bursting at the seams of the building. We experienced and understood why God truly does call the small to do the great and impossible things- It's easier for Him to take over.
So here I am, on this plane, about to land in Nashville, TN. Amazed by the grace, love, and power of God in every part of Doors Ministries, in every facet of my life, in every trial that we faced, in every mountain top and valley we ever walked through.
If you have lived overseas, you have your God story, your trials, your mistakes, your path, your lessons, your people. It has all been very real and now as you land in your familiar, now not-so-familiar home, you aren't sure how any thing, any place, any people, any circumstance could ever compare with the past _________ of your life in ________.
You're home for a few weeks stumbling through your every day, trying to figure out how Walmart works again, and why there are so many choices of EVERYTHING, you keep having to remind yourself to drive on the RIGHT side of the road, you have accidentally spoken in Luganda to a few of your black friends, and if you're anything like me you have spent some significant time weeping.
And then it happens. You run into that friend or family member in a store or at church and they commit the most unspeakable atrocity against you… they ask- "How was your trip?" You aren't sure what to do or say at this point… do you run out of the room crying, do you stand up on a chair and exclaim to everyone around how amazing and hard and deep the past ________ of your life has actually been, do you let this person have it and shove a Shane Claiborne book down their throat, or do you just say- "it was awesome" and walk away.
This is just one example of what I have seen "ex-missionaries" go bonkers about. We could go on and on about our opinions on mega churches, Starbucks, upper-middle class society, AMERICA, etc… I'm not judging you, seriously, the only reason I am able to write about this stuff is because I've been the worst of the worst. Your emotions and thought provoking questions about how to live life as a Christ follower are REAL and they should be asked. These are things that we should WRESTLE with once we have spent time with the poor and the hurting. That "trip" you went on should forever change YOU.
Did that person who asked how your trip was really commit a horrible crime against you?
NO.
Are your friends and family shallow when they can't fully comprehend the life you just lived?
NO.
Will community ever be the same as it was for you on the "mission field?"
Maybe not.
Are you being shallow, close minded, and high maintenance when you judge others?
YES.
I wasn't sure how to write on the Doors blog anymore. I wasn't sure how the stories of street kids or single moms could still be propelled from my American point of view. But I think I know now. I think that Satan doesn't give a flip that we lived in _________ for ________. I don't think he is too concerned with our experiences and the hard lessons learned. You know what he is afraid of? He is afraid that the light will get out in your current position in your current location. He is afraid that instead of being bitter and distraught over your relocation back home that you will dive deeper into God's plan over your life. The enemy wants judgement and bitterness and sympathy for yourself to overtake the joy, and passion, and forgiveness.
I can't forget what I've seen, what I've tasted and heard in Uganda. I'm not the same and I never will be. I don't compare America to Uganda anymore. It's not the same place, and the people here are different, with different experiences. The thing is, Jesus is the same.
Jesus is the same.
He has the same power, the same love, and the same passion for His children to know and believe and experience Him. Don't waste another second on judgement or bitterness or comparison.
Each of us has an adventure before us today. Whether you are on a dirt road in Uganda or whether you are in front of a computer screen in America with a picture on your desk of that child who forever wrecked your life. Your adventure yesterday can't be the adventure of today.
The question still stands-
How was your trip?
Did your trip paralyze you or did your trip set your heart so on fire that with every new step the world burns with passion for Jesus and His Kingdom come?
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